How I ended up on-air

How I ended up on-air at 2bbb: A cautionary tale from a recent addition to our lineup

by Adam Norris

Now, shanghaied is a loaded word, conjuring as it does images of wharf rats and sea salt, of poker by oil lamp and barrels of rotgut rum; a kaleidoscope of raucous evening misadventures before waking up in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by brigands, ruffians, and other such ne’er-do-wells, involuntarily conscripted into some voyage to the other end of the world, nothing in your pockets but a song and half a Kit-Kat …

And yet, after a chance encounter with one Kye Ruigrok on a fateful Federal night, it describes my introduction to 2bbb fairly well. Who would have thought that all those ciders and smiles, those tales of radio antennae that touch the stars and a music library rumoured to house its own Minotaur, it would all end up like this? Chained to a DJ deck in the midst of the most beautiful valley this side of Brigadoon, interviewing authors, training an army of warrior moths to ensure my eventual freedom, and drenched in all that 100 years of recorded sound can offer?

Well, Kye, obviously, since he’s the Chairperson. But who else could anticipate such a fate? Sure, it’s amazing fun, and the other inmates here are all grand company. It’s just that I’m starting to think those promises of pirate gold and maps to Cinemas That Time Forgot were all just an elaborate plot. “You catch more bears with coffee than silverware! Squawk goes the pastry chef!” as Kye often cries nonsensically, swinging from one of the many chandeliers he had installed throughout the office.

And yes, everybody here is driven to keep listeners engaged, and happy to share their interests with the world at large. And after a couple of solo broadcasts, the nerves finally firm and you actually sink into the role, eager to find something new and surprising to showcase. It’s a pretty great feeling. It gets to a stage where you can’t even feel the manacles anymore, and the wolverines guarding every exit are just a pleasant background purr.

In short, tune in every Wednesday morning from 10am for ‘Quilling Me Softly’ to hear me chatting with some of the most interesting people in literature, film, art – the best way to get your weekly culture fix in one glorious two-hour extravaganza, in other words. Oh, and do tell my family to please hurry along with Kye’s ransom demands. He gets quite irascible when his chandelier supply runs low …

Adam’s show Quilling me Softly is on Wednesday mornings 1000-1200.